Ever have your heart ripped out and handed to you by a 21 month old? No? Lucky you. Today my son decided that Mommy doesn't need her heart anymore...it's just a cold, shriveled black thing in her chest anyway, why would she need it? Yes folks, today my son cried, no bawled, heart-wrenching sobs, at the thought of going home with his (gasp!) Mommy.
My son first starting going to his sitter about five months ago when I started back to work. I thought that it would be hard for him to have Mommy drop him off, wave bye-bye, and leave. Wow, was I delusional! The first day I dropped him off for the day (after a few hour or so practice visits with and without Mommy), he walked away from me and into the playroom. No backward glance, no hug or kiss good-bye, no tears. Okay, there were tears, but what I do in the privacy of my own vehicle is my business.
He has never fussed at me dropping him off for the day, which actually makes me happy. I would, however, like a hug and kiss for my own selfish reasons, but whatever, my wants take a backseat nowadays. After I take off his coat and boots, I watch as his little behind disappears into the playroom. When I pick him up at the end of the day, he is usually excited to see me and after realizing that it's time to go home, waves bye-bye to his sitter. Perfect.
Today, however, I may have mentioned that he decided to use my heart as a basketball, so it needed to be softened in the morning to be yanked out in the afternoon. He had to have been plotting this evil plan all morning. He has to be diabolical. He has to be evil. Okay, maybe not evil, but just wait...wait until you hear this!
This morning I got a hug and kiss good-bye!! Can you believe it??!! If you put one of those Grinch boxes that helps you see through the human body in front of my chest, you would've seen my heart grow three sizes today. I. Finally. Got. My. Hug. And. Kiss! Now, I know what you're thinking, because I thought it too, but then I got to see how diabolical this kid could be.
When I picked him up this afternoon he was playing in the playroom with another little boy. The sitter went and got him for me and brought out my sweet little boy, who burst into tears at the sight of me. You would've thought I actually looked like Shrek today if you saw the tears! He then proceeded to cry harder when I took him in my arms, my loving arms, the same arms that couldn't wait all day to hold him. He then sobbed uncontrollably when I tried to put his shoes on while he was sitting on the chair. The horror! The woman who loves you dearly and missed you all day wants to take you home...how can the world be this cruel?! I then put him on his feet on the floor and he hugged into me, which I thought was a way for him to console himself in his mother's arms because he was so sad. I felt good knowing that he would turn to me for comfort. And then it happened...the ripping of my heart from it's warm cavity, the heart that had been warmed that morning in preparation for that afternoon. My son kissed me on the cheek and started to head towards the playroom!
Now, you may be thinking, 'your son hugged and kissed you, how sweet'. NO! Your WRONG! He wasn't doing that because he LOVES me. He was doing that because it was the combination to me LEAVING! It worked that morning, so he thought he'd give it another shot and I'd leave him alone to continue playing. Can you believe that??!! My son is already manipulating his Mommy by using love to get what he wants. Oh my god...I just realized...my little boy is already becoming a MAN!
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